Age

this is a test post to see if it appears on my friends page. For some reason it does not seem to be appearing and we are not sure why. A longer post with life updates is soon to follow :)

haven't updated in a while, so i guess now is better then ever since I am actually at the computer with some time, although i should be packing, cuz there is still lots to do before we leave tomorrow... Dan Ryan and I are heading to Salmo BC to go to a 5 day rave called Shambhala...it should be nuts...Dan and Ryan went last year, and loved it, so i am totally stoked to go....it should be awesome...tons of hippi fun...i look at it as a 5 day camping trip with tons of entertainment, hehe...yes loud loud entertainment, 6 stages worth that run all day and all night..some DJ's are not scheduled to go on until like 6 in the morning..it's crazy..we get to see Sphoongle (not sure if spelt right) for any of you who know who they are..so Ryan is super excited for that...i am not sure how much i am really into crazy trans music, but meh, it should be fun...so all this weekend has been spent shopping and getting ready for this trip...it's going to be a late night..i am already ready for bed and its only 8:30, we leave tomorrow at like 4 in the afternoon, for like an 8 hour drive...we plan to arrive at 5 or 6 in the morning so we can get a good camping spot...so crazy crazy....one thing that has been bringing me a slight amount of stress is the possibility of me doing E... Dan and I have been taking vitamins and what not to prepare the body for it, but i don't know...mel and others feel very strongly that i do not experiment with any type of drug other then weed..not to sure how i feel about harder drugs...i mean the trip from it sounds pretty cool, but i don;t like that you could be in it for 4-6 hours...thats a long damn time, although when on it, won;t feel that long...plus i don't like how it affects your mood and for several days afterwards...so i don't know...i will cross the bridge when i get to it...i can tell that Dan really wants me to try it, but i don't know...i think the fact that my mom said she trusts me, kinda places guilt on me if i do try it....just feel like i am letting her down...however it is a socially constructed thing that "drugs are bad"...so for those who don't know much about it, other then the horror stories they hear are simply going to jump to a no answer because society places this negative, shit whats the word, moral panic towards people who do it...my brain is kinda saying it would be neat to try something new, and you have about the same amount of chance of dying from being hit from a car as you do from taking it...so i don't know...any thoughts from people who i haven't spoken to about it?? so those are my thoughts for now...not sure if i have mentioned but i am staying here till mid Dec...i got permission from York to go to UofC, and i was all excited and ready to go tomorrow, when i remembered that i don't have my official transcript, cuz i forgot to order it before...so i put an order through now...so i am going to print out an unofficial one, and see if they will take that, at least so then i can try and register for classes :) so hope all goes well there....oh and if anyone knows of some one looking for a roommate, or who is selling a car, please let me know...i need a place to live in the next little while (i have my own bed, sofa and dresser :)) or at least a place to store all this..hehe...ahh well, i am going to try not to think about all that right now, and attempt to enjoy this weekend...i already feel like a third wheel, so i hope that changes throughout the week and weekend...well now that ihave most of that off my chest, i feel a little better...just gotta get my brain to a more peaceful state...we shall see...Ryan is coming over tonight and for some reason i have been really edgey with him..not sure why...or maybe because he is always around and i feel like i don;t get that much time with Dan, or dan is always on the damn phone with him..christ they work together all day do they not get enough talking done then?? anyway, this post is getting long and i could go on for another hour, so i will end this here :) thanks to everyone who read to this point..hope all is going well with you...

Current Location: Dan's House
Current Mood: Happy/Sad/Scared/Excited/stres

just sitting here thinking about how i have not updated in a while, and there is a few things to update...

first: the boy that I had been talking about and I are now an item, i believe..hehe..at one point i wanted more and he didn't, then we took some time apart, and he changed his mind..he wanted to be more then just friends with me....so thats been going awesome so far, i am definitly happy about that...

second: I am about 85% sure that I am not going to TO until mid dec...i haven't heard if i can take classes at UfC, but i couldn;t get what i wanted at York until Jan, so if i don't UofC then i will work till dec, then take the 4 courses at York in the winter, then come back here and finish my degree in the spring....so thats kinda the plan right now..therefore i need to start apartment looking asap...cuz i can pretty much move in now...would be nice to live with someone, cuz then it won't be to bad when I leave in jan for 3.5 months..plus it would just be nice to live with someone....so yeah, thats that for now :) i am rather stoked...i mean i am going to miss everyone in TO, but if i go back there i am going to miss everyone here...with this plan, i at least get 3 months here and then 3.5 months there...so it all works in the end :) yay

thats about all for now..nothing else to exciting...today is Duncan's birthday :) had a fire and what not last night, was pretty cool...fires are always fun :) yeah..if anyone knows of a place or relatively inexpensive vehicle please let me know...if anyone wants to go house/apartment shopping, let me know :) company for that would be great....hope all is going well with everyone else :)

Current Location: Dan's place
Current Mood: happy

was looking at my friends page on LJ and saw that Dianne had posted stuff about Arry, and then a lovely pic...it made my heart sink...i miss him so much, and i have tried to push him to the back of my mind, but seeing pics of him is still really hard...i think of him some times and it's painful but i have to accept the way things went between him and i...in happier news...i spent the weekend with my parents...we were up in banff, it was awsome...had Dan on my mind cuz i was suppose to go to a rave with them, that would have been awesome, but spending time with family was more important.i am going to go to one with them later this summer, which will be about 5 days long..should be awesome...thats really about all that i wanted to talk about right now...i mostly wanted to express feelings about seeing a pic of arry...kinda sparked a few things...but what can i do...he was able to drop me so quickly, why can't i drop him that easily...things happen for a reason, i may never understand this reason...it's funny, Dan thinks that maybe i was really in love with Arry, and thats why this hurts so much, cuz he broke my heart...i don't know if thats why, but he definitly hurt me...thats life i guess

Arry: Thanks for what we had. I miss you, and I hope you are doing well :) maybe one day we will be friends again. Till then, I wish you the best with what ever you do, and I know you have the power to do great things. Know you will always be in my heart and keep smiling :)

Current Location: Banff
Current Mood: melancholy

haven't updated in a while...a fair amount has been going on...lots to do with stupid boys, well maybe just one stupid boy...him and i pretty much act and look like we are dating, but we are not...i am ready to take it to the next step, and he's not...the next step being affectionate in public...and he doesn't want that...but we seriously already look like we are dating...he basically is getting his cake and eatting it too, and i was fine with that for a while, cuz i was getting the same thing...just now, it's getting a little much...he looks like he is developing deeper feelings, but when confronted he says no....i don't understand...like he doesn;t want to be with anyone else, but doesn't want to commit to me because he doesn't see us working in the long run...this coming from the person so always says we will cross that bridge when we get to it...in this situation he is prematurly crossing that brdige...ugh..he is driving me nuts...i have asked a few people for advice and they suggest that i not always be there when he wants me to...which is a good idea...he needs to wake up to his idealistic way of thinking and enter the real world...i hope that in the long run him and i can be together, but if not, then i know there is someone else out there for me...if anything i have another really good friend from this...i guess i just like it because i have never really had a male friend who was at the same mental level as me...with regards to thinking the same towards things...and thats what attracts me to him...plus his physical apperance...but i am sure the is some one else out there who is just the bit better, and who wants to be with me too..

moving on...my parents come to visit this weekend..so that will be really neat.. i want them to meet everyone here...so we decided that a fire at Duncan's friday night around 9 would be good...i am moving into his house again, and so my parents are going to be staying there...sat we are heading to Banff to check out mel's place...and we got our parents a room at the Banff Springs as a cumulative gift for their Birthday's, Mother/Fathers day, and there 25th Anniversary...so that will be nice...definitly excited for them to meet everyone... Danielle, Ian, Paul, and Julie, you guys are more then welcome to come :) infact i would love it if you guys came...i would love for you guys to meet my family :) plus i haven't seen you guys in a while :)

In other news..I have been working on trying to get into UofC for sept...I found that there is really no deadline for me to get my papers in from York..so really i am now just waiting for York to say yes to the classes i want, and hope that i can get the classes i want here...so really i won't know till about mid July...i have a connection to Calgary which is a major factor to wanting to stay here,and everyone here :) going back to TO would be good too...so really my only downfall is that no matter where i go, i am going to miss people...so i really cannot complain about life right now...plus i have a goal for life in the career's that i want :)

so really right now, i am so happy...my insides are smiling :)...it's a great feeling...i know at some point i will hit a low, but for now i am enjoying this high :) i hope everyone else is doing well...and please feel free to send me a text message at any time :)

Current Mood: happy
Current Music: Saved By the Bell theme song

ugh...i just want to crawl into a ball and cry..or curl up beside some one...right now i wish i had a significant other..but i guess in time one will come

hope everyone else is doing well :)

Current Location: Dieters parents house
Current Mood: sad

well I have been in Calgary now for almost 2 weeks..and already so much has happened...lol...i find it funny how tons of exciting things happen here and not very much when i am in toronto..i must look different when i come here...lol...anyway, there is a boy in which i have deep inner feelings for, but can't really come to terms with what I actually want from him...from his position he just wants to be good friends with benefits...i don't think i can do that..plus who say's "good friends" isn't it usually just friends...like to me saying good friends is that you are basically in a relationship...like what is a relationship, Good/best friends with benefits...do i now have to work on making the "good friends" part into "best friends" like we get along rediculously well...i can understand that me leaving for Toronto at the end of August might put up some barrier...but 8 months goes by crazy fast, as it did this winter...plus i plan to come visit every couple of months or so,like i did..i find it helps make the time go quicker...plus everyone is more then welcome to come vist me in Toronto..and i would say if you ever want to see the gross big city, come soon while i am still there...although when i move here, we can always go together, then at least there is company on the plane..lol...okay enough about that babbling...i just, right now, i don't know...i am going to play things by ear and see what happens...maybe he is a sign that there are people in the world that appeal to me, but he's just not the one..that there might be someone out there who is even more compatable with me..*shrug* why must i always look so deep into things like this *shakes fist* STOP THINKING ABOUT IT....lol...maybe that will help...i really do enjoy his friendship and the time we spend together..one day i will kick his butt at table hockey and phoseball (sp??) ahhh well..for now i will enjoy his company and friendship, cuz in the end, i would rather have his friendship then nothing at all...

other then all that, i am having a fabulous time here :) i am trying to hang out with people as much as i possible can..anyone for Gilmore Girls tonight?? Well, hope all is going well with everyone else :)

remember: Life is to short to wear matching socks. Keep Smiling

Current Mood: sleepy

i thought i would post here some feelings that have come over me tonight...which were sparked by seeig a certain boy (Arry) who i have not seen since the end of October when things went really bad between us....getting over this has been one of the hardest things in my life...he became so close so quickly and then was gone in the blink of an eye...everything went as quickly as it came...and that has been eatting me inside...so finally when i get completely over all of this, i go and see him...we didn;t speak and i tried to avoid him all night....we never ended up speaking....maybe we should have, or maybe that was my final fairwell to him....none the less, seeing him actually hurt less then i thought it would, so that was good, how ever is sparked many different emotions in me all night....at first i was nervous, then i was like screw him, and then i was going to cry, and then i was like meh what ever.....so that was kinda alot to deal with...and the flames lossing didn;t help....i totally jinx them...so no more watching during the play offs.....seeing him made me think about the good times him and i had, and how much he cared for me....it's nice to remember that....i feel good now....i am totally like he's almost complete;y erased from my life.....oh today i also saw my ex boyfriend's (Brad) mom and sister...when we broke up it was harder for me to lose his parents and dog, then it was him.....anyway, i found out that he and his girlfriend of 4.5 years broke up..she is also the chick he dumped me for, the first day he went to university...however i was very happy for him....i was thinking to maybe call him to see if he wanted to go for a drink...but i really dont know if him and i would have much to talk about....would be interesting thou, i havent seen him in maybe 3 or 4 years....lately things have been pretty good...at times i get bummed that i am single, cuz it would be nice to have someone in my life....but then i think of the amount of friends i have and i realize that i am never alone.....i have the greatest friends in the world....i just with they all lived in the same place....would make things a little easier for me....one of the things keeping me going right now is my excitement for going to calgary in 2 days...i'm really looking forward to it...i mean i am going to miss everyone here so much...to bad i am not moving to calgary now, cuz i feel like i would be leaving on a high note....maybe thats just cuz i would be leaving arry knowing that i have closure....the thing i would have the hardest time with, is leaving Paul....him and i have become such close friends in the last year, that leaving him will be extremely tough....as well, thats going to be a hard thing for me this summer...especially since i am leaving a few days before his birthday.....it's killing me that i won;t be able to spend it with him....in other news, i resigned with the team i was playing for last year...i really don;t know why..i haven;t been happy the last 2 months, yet i am going back...partially becaue i know all the players...and cuz i have no where else to play....but as i was signing the papers today i was asking myself why i was doing this....i dont feel overly fufilled by it....maybe i just need some time...we shall see....despite the happenings of tonight, i feel really happy right now....everyone here makes me happy, i am going to calgary soon, to hang out with everyone, which makes me happy, i have some closure which makes me happy, i'm just happy and i never want this feeling to go away... :) okay, i have rambled enough for tonight....hope everyone else is doing well, and is happy too : )

Current Mood: Happy

I haven't updated here in a very long while, so i figured now would be a good time, even though I should be writing an essay..now where to begin

I got a job teaching skating in Calgary for may and june, so I am leaving for there April 26th...i also got a bunch of odd jobs at Southland Lesuire center....so it will be quite the distance to travel since I will be living in the north, but none the less it will be fun...i will get to meet lots of new people which makes me happy....i am also hoping that I will get a camp councelling position at Southland for July and August, cuz that would rock....they have an amazing facility there....so yeah, really looking forward to that

I'm almost completly done my 3rd year at York...i have a few take homes to finish up and then 2 actual exams....so the next few weeks are going to be busy...but then it's done....i can't believe how fast this school year has gone by...so much has happened....it's unreal....but i am looking forward to next year...got some interesting classes lined up....i wish i was going to be staying in Calgary, but I have to come back here because of a few classes, and work....i have to many opportunities here that i need before i can move there.....but it will only be 8 months..so i can do that....at least i hope...i really don't have to come back here...but as it stands now, i will be coming back

thats really all thats going on in my life right now....hockey is done this weekend, which is sad cuz for the most part i really like my team, and i am not sure if i am going to play again next year....i've become closer with some of the girls on my team which is really cool....so we shall see what happens there....cuz wtih the money to pay for hockey i can fly to calgary twice and pay for half of someone's ticket....so i have that to think about.....i have no significant other at the moment and i'm not chasing anyone, so nothing to report in that department..lol....so yeah thats about all really....life's kinda boring at the moment....i'm just focusing on finishing up the year, and going to calgary...anyway, hope all is going well with others, good luck to those who are writing exams, and to people dealing with stressful life situations....see you soon

:) Adge :)

Current Mood: happy
Current Music: World on Fire - Sarah McLachlan

Hello everyone

i haven't updated here in the longest time...not much is going on at the moment..i am currently in Calgary, enjoying a week off school.. My sister and her boyfriend are here as well,so it's been nice...she has been able to meet everyone :) although today she drove to Edmonton and I haven't heard anything from her..kinda making me worry....but i have enjoyed my time here so far...skating and all that fun stuff...amazing

However being here presents me with issuses..that issue of whether or not to move here next september..now i really really want to, however, i mid as well finish my last year at York,then move here to spend the next 4 years at Mount Royal...the thing is i hate being away from Calgary...i was going to not play select hockey which will provide me with some extra funding to travel here once or twice more during the year...so i could visit every two months or so...staying home i get to work at my fabulous job with my fabulous friends,and make great money...i just hate being away from here (Calgary) makes me sad :(

anyway, thats all for now..spent the day helping Dieter move, although i should have been doing my home work...but what ever...hehe..hope all is going well with everyone else... :)

i think i have slowly started to return to myself...after mondays news a lingering feeling was decided, and i have been the happiest ever since...i think i am good now cuz i have no undecided feelings inside of me...so now i kinda know that when i need to talk about something, or feel a certain way, i discuss it and resolve things right away....now i just have to decide if i want to go to shinny...kale let me borrow her copy card yesterday, so i kind feel i owe it to her to go...i just hate getting up late and then no feeling like leaving the house...anyway the main this is that i feel like a million bucks again, and i am very very happy about that :) i hope everyone else is doing well :D

man when the rollercoaster begins it's decent, the bloody things PLUMETS....holy crap is all i can say...life is one big f*cken drama..and lets just say, mine got very interesting...i think maybe i am going to learn to be one of those people who keeps shit bottled up inside...cuz some many problems have arisen that i don't think i could bare burdening people with them...things are so messed right now, all i can do is look at my life and laugh...maybe laugh so hard that i being to cry...but laughing is all i can do...i want to get the hell out of this place...although i don't know if it's going to be much better else where...LOL all i can do....maybe they have a padded room for me, one where i can bounce back and forth and up and down...totally oblivious to all around...where my mind is in a constant state of running through a medow full of flowers...oh to be in a world of such...anyway, off to sleep i should go...i have class in the morning..although i don't really feel like sleeping...the mind is to busy laughing at it's self...if i sleep it will mess that up, and tomorrow will be a hard day... *shrug* thats life, i suppose...maybe if i smile everything will seem alright...

Current Mood: depressed

okies..so alot has been going on the last little while...i have been recovering from the Arry situation and thats making me super happy...it's about damn time i get over that...him and i talked and he doesn't feel he's ready to be friends yet...so fine..we wont be..sucks, but hey what can i do...so yeah...in the mean time another group of amazing peopel have entered my life, and well they are great...i can't remember if i put this all in my last post...anyway, i suppose i will move on to write the things i actually wanted to write...

so the last little while a certain person and myself have been pretty close...kinda a continuation of what happened before i left for the summer...anyway, at first i was all like yeah, we take it slow, go with the flow, yadda yadda yadda...but i don't know now...i mean at first i thought maybe i was okay with the friends with benefits thing..but now i am not so sure...just not sure what my feelings are towards being in a relationship of any kind...i think i expect other things from this person and i am not getting that, so i kinda am not feeling to good with myself for alot of whats happening...i think i am starting to feel the internal consequences that this new me is...i guess i just wish that he showed that he liked me a bit more...but then again, what are my feelings towards him.. *shurg* i think i need to answer that before anything else...so yeah...

on a good note...Ryan from Calgary might be coming to Toronto...that would be awsome..then we can hang out, and he can meet my friends, and watch me play hockey...and yay :) i'm excited

anyway..enough from me...yeah, i hope everyone else is doing well...HI IELLE :)

Dear Livejournal

I am very sorry that i have been neglecting you for so long. The mind and heart have been affected greatly over the last couple of weeks, cuzing my mind to be else where...please do not take this personally, as i love writing my thoughts here..In the near future (hopefully tomorrow or thursday) i hope to be able to write more of what is going on in my crazy mind...right now i am way to tired, and in a funk to be able to say much of anything...as much as i want to stay and write, i should shower...maybe that will help me sleep a bit better...maybe it will help me stop kicking myself for the stupid thing that i did, in letting myself get attached to someone in a way that i did not want, to then have it blow up in my face...i'm still really hurting over this...and not only did that happen, but i lost a couple of my best friends, or at least people i believed to be my best friends, in the process...i guess this is the part where people say, things happen in life that aren't always good...i just need to suck it up, wear a smile, and go back to being the super happy happy adrienne i was 3 weeks ago...i can do it, i am strong, and i have an amazing support group (which i thank and love everyone who has been there for me the last little while) It definitly brings to light who the true hero's and friends are in my life...i hate being in this lul cuz it's affecting every aspect of my life..i am trying to not let it get to me but it is...my school work is suffering, i don't feel like going to work (which i absolutly love) i don't feel like playing hockey, and i am back to hating being in Toronto...i was all excited about all this not to long ago, and was doing so super well, then i dropped my shield and things blew up in my face....i hate feeling this way...right now in my mind is a battle going on as to whether or not i should talk to these so called best friends..one of them i don't have an issue with, he didn't do anything, and him and i have been good friends for way to long to let something stupid like this get in the way...it's just kinda painful right now to see him...so really it's a battle of whether or not i should let this other person (the one who caused the all the pain) back into my life....it's kinda stupid that a small tiny situation caused so much crap...but just goes to show that it wasn't ment to be...maybe we are not ment to be friends either...who knows...anyway, i should really stop talking about all this...i have exhausted it....i now need to internalize alot of what is going on, and figure out for myself what i want to do..in the mean time i really need to start SMILING again...i need to be happy and realize that life is the same as it was before this all happened, i just need to grasp it all again, and realized the absolutly amazing life i live, with the phenominal people that i have in it...both here in TO and in Calgary...it's amazing..so smile already : )

Thank you Journal for listening to my ranting...i promise to provide you with the loving more often :)


Adrienne :D

Current Mood: sad

things right now are going so well....i have a boy in my life who is amazing.....it's just been awsome......i just got back from Calgary ...had an amazing week there....i felt like i was simply on the other side of the city visiting my friends....was great....i miss there....visited the University of Calgary, and found out great news about next year...so happy about that....i got to hang out with Dmetri and Erin on campus...then thursday i got to hang out with Nikki and J at Mount Royal...that was so much fun....friday night was awsome....we drank beer, ate pizza and watched the flames game...nothing beats a night like that : ) ..it was awsome staying at Ryans...got to spend time with him...i got to see Dieters new place and hang out at denny;s.....got to watch GG with Ian and Danielle, which was totally awsome.....so all in all, it was an AMAZING week...as it always is when i go to visit : ) Thanks everyone...you all rock...i love you all : )

Since i got back, Arry and i have been spending sooo much time together...it;s been amazing.....we get along so well....we talk about everything, and just enjoy being in each others company...i have never felt this way for anyone before..its a fabulous feeling..i hope that him and i can continue to grow together : ) he makes me so happy...it's amazing to be with some one who cares so much about me...he makes me very happy : )

well thats about all there is for an update....there should be more updates this month, cuz according to Paul it's BIG october....which it kinda is...and Arry and I kinda kicked it off...hehe.... i hope all is going well for others....let me know.... : ) i wanna hear whats going on with everyone : ) ... big big *hug*

:D Adge :D

Current Mood: happy

okay...so last night was a pooy night...but i am thinking it was cuz i was tired and there was stuff on my mind....few things going on....first, Arry and I are going through a bit of a rough time...it's going to stink not seeing him, but this time apart will be good for both of us....help us sort out whats really going on...i'm just scared i am going to lose his friendship.....2) I got the coordinators position for saturdays....which means i have more responsibility for less pay...but it will look good on my resume.....so right now i am working on building that....my interview was really funny, but i semi knew they really wanted me in that position....it conflicts with hockey a bit, but what can i do, i need to work to pay for hockey.....i guess now the third thing kinda going on is, I will be flying out to Calgary on sunday. I will be there until thanksgiving monday...all this was planned yesterday.....and it's awsome that i can go out for 8 days....and only be missing one day of school...yay for jewish holidays and york giving us the time off : ) so i am really excited about that.....um,yeah, thats about all the news i have at the moment....i love how my life is always fillied with interesting things....something is always going on with me....after thanksgiving i work almost every day and have hockey....it will be crazy....but tons of fun....i can't wait.....yay...i hope all is going well with everyone, and i can't wait to see people soon : ) big big *hug*

Current Mood: happy

i had written up quite alot about my weekend, but then my computer restarted, so not to sure i want to write as much as i did before....but i will still write a fair bit :)

Friday: began with saying bye to my sister who was heading up to Montreal for a race this weekend, then home to kingston....i then spent most of the day rearranging my room just to conclude that i liked it best the way it was....now all thats left is to decorate....after that kaleigh and i headed up to Jerry's apartment to help him move stuff to his parents....we then headed over to East Side Mario's to celebrate Ed's birthday..it was nice to see everyone again...after that, Jim Kaleigh, Jerry and I headed over to the park and talked till about 2am...it was amazing

Sat: I spent the day cleaning...Kale and Jim then came over and the three of us went out food shopping and to get booze for sunday night....we then came home, watched a bunch of Drawn Together episodes, and made food....after a while we were joined by Rory, Ryo and Eddie....we all then headed down to the lake, and were there talking and looking at the sky line....it was absolutly amazing....we then came back to my place, finished watching Drawn Together and then watched Van Wilder....everyone left around 4am....Jim and i stayed up talking till about 6am

Sun: Jim and i headed over to Costco to pick up a few things.....we then stopped into Best Buy to give Paul and Arry crap and talk them into coming to my gathering that night...they had been drinking sat night, so decided that they didn;t want to come to my place..made me upset, so i told them they were on block.....and i did block them....so then we got things ready for the party that night....people started to arrive around 9 and things really started getting going at 10....by the time most people showed up i had already had a cooler and a beer....so i was feeling it pretty good.....i'm such a light weight....so anyway from there on i just kept drinking...i have never in my life been as drunk as i was that night....all day monday people were telling me about things i did that night....haha....so basically the rest of sun was a blur...haha

Mon: only got about an hour and half sleep...woke up sitting on this guy eddies lap...then was up pretty much the rest of the day....surprised i didn't puke...had an upset tummy and sore head for the day....kale stayed all day and we just kind lounged around....watched some tv....Steven and Gooch popped by a few times....then around 9pm Kaleigh and i headed downtown by ttc (which is new for us) where we met up with Ed and Jim..we then all walked down to the lake and sat there for a few hours...talked about things we wanted to do and our camping trip....we then headed home, of course grabbing some street meat on our way...it was simply amazing...i then met Gooch and steven at timmies...Gooch and i ended up talking on my front porch till about 2:30am

now i tell a few stories, that i found out about me when i was drunk...hehe

1) walked around smacking peoples butts all night, and poking people
2) would walk around saying everyones name
3) apparently was sitting on people
4) kept smacking Steven (who was passed out) in the head
5) at one point was curled in a ball on my bedroom floor saying no one cared and that i missed everyone
6) drank Banana liqure straight from the bottle

so all in all i had an absolutly AMAZING weekend...i definitly needed it to help me get adjusted to being here....i think also i am adjusting well cuz i know eventually i will moving to calgary, i am more confident with myself, and my relationships to everyone there....i feel so good : ) i am on such a natural high....it's absolutly amazing....and i thank everyone in my life for that....you all ROCK : ) i love you all *hugs*

Current Mood: happy
Current Music: Man with a Mission - Bad Religion

I guess now would be as good a time as any to write a bit of an update....lets see...i have been home for about a week now...and it's been a bit of a bumpy ride....i was a mess last weekend, with just getting home and having to adjust....it was hard having my sister at home..i mean i love her...i just hate that i have to driver her everywhere and drop everything i am doing just for her....thats why i am glad she is gone, cuz then i get the car and my room....so this week will be good cuz my sister has moved out (she lives in Kingston (2.5hrs out of toronto) where she is going to school) and my parents are away on a cruise...so it's just me : ) ..which makes me happy cuz i get to adjust and having things the way i want it....

i do miss everyone in calgary very much..and i think everyone asking me about my trip and me explaining how i had an amazing time helps me stay happy, and know that one day i will be back : ).....it's so different between here and there.....people wise, atmosphere wise just almost everything wise....and it is hard for me to decide, although i do lean closer to Calgary.....i need to live there for at least a year....see what happens...if anything i can always move back here, no biggie....so i have many options....plus people from here can come visit me, and i will be back here to visit....so it will be all good : )

now to spend the day cleaning....cuz the wonderful family let a bomb go off in the house, and it's a mess.....i can't live this way.....plus tonight we are having movie night, and possibly going to the lake...so that should be amazing....then tomorrow night i am having my welcome home/end of summer/school is starting gathering....where i plan to be fairly drunk....i need to say screw you to everyone here.....see i can drink infront of everyone there, i can't here for some reason....it's strange....but i just need to forget it and have fun....i changed alot over the summer....i need to keep that change up here, and not revert back to my old ways....anyway, cleaning time... big *hugs* to everyone.....miss you all tons

Current Mood: happy

well i wanted to be in bed about an hour ago, but the surprise arrival of Ryan and Nadia made the extra hour being awake worth while...its nice to see them...i did very much enjoy the time i had alone here..i like the life of having my own place...so i am looking forward to it next year...i know thou once i go home it's going to be hard for me to pry myself away from that life..but i must do i...i love being here, and here is where i want to be...if i can't hack it or want to go home, then i will simply move back to toronto...its not that i am being banished for life..

anyway, this week,my final week here, is going to be utterly packed...i have so much to work on, and in such little time...plus i need to get in seeing everyone, and meeting up with others....i do hope that i get to see everyone before i go...i want to take pics with, if i can, everyone and one big massive group pic, with as many people as i can get...

today was a good day, until a certain boy decided to send me a txt message and piss me off...cuz then i got all girly and shit, and the mind started going, and on top of leaving it's just been building...so this week i am probably going to be totally messed up..then when i get home friday, it's not going to be much better...so people, i am apolagizing well in advence for what ever rude, mean, stressed, sad, depressed, or what ever kinda of mood i am in...please do not take offence to it..and just know it's becasue i love you all so much, and will miss you all dearly....

since i kinda know how the weeks going to unfold i am bracing myself for it, and going to try and control it as best as possible...

Note to Self:

Hang in there, things will be okay....the year will go quickly and you will be back here soon...it's going to be hard at home, adjusting to things, and people...know you can do it....embrace what you have and be thankful that you have two amazing lives, with amazing people apart of them...you can do it, and find happiness where ever you may go...you can do, just believe in yourself, and hang in there..


so after that note to myself, i hope to have the strenght and courage i need to hang in there, and enjoy my life....i will miss everyone, and i hope everyone has a great year... *hugs* to everyone..this weeks going to go by so fast, i won't even get to enjoy the little time i have left...but i will try my best

Current Mood: tired/sad

ooww shoot monkey poo head..that hurt like a bitch...holy jeepers...but it looks kinda neat...haha, my eyes started to water, and i almost fainted and almost barfed...it was great...i can totally tell keith was like "man she's a baby" haha..yeah i don't do so well with the pain...hehe..but it's done now..just a bit more pain in the way of cleaning it, and thats all..oh and the chunk it's going to take out of my bank account...hehe...i hope other people like it...and i learned you can tense your nose..haha..never really knew you could do that...

sometimes i wonder about why we pay people to poke holes in our body when it really really really hurts? maybe if i had more food in me i would have felt better...hehe...the pain will only be there for about a week...so i need to suck it up...man this feeling brave definitly has a price to it...so yeah, thats my experience of the day..inflicting expensive pain upon myself...i just hope everyone likes it..not that i really need to seek approval from everyone..but it would be nice :) i also hope it makes me look sexier ;) so please if you see me, definitly compliment me, will make me feel better, 1)about myself, and 2)that the pain i have inflicted upon myself was worth it...hehe..

hope others had as interesting of a day as i did :)

Current Mood: nauseated
Current Music: what ever is on at the shop